The Doctor is In

One of the worst triggers for my anxiety is a visit to the doctor. To make it worse, I worry obsessively about my health. Back in the day they called it being a hypochondriac. These days, the fancy term is "medical anxiety." Well, let me tell you, I've got medical anxiety in every sense of the term. I'm anxious  that there's something physically wrong with me, and I'm anxious if I have to go to the doctor to be checked out.

One of the worst parts of having anxiety and panic attacks is that most of the symptoms are also symptoms for scary stuff, like heart attacks and strokes. Chest pain, tingling hands, numbness, feeling like you can't breathe, dizziness, nausea. The list goes on. Google those symptoms and you're going to find things you don't want to have. And, when anxiety starts to spiral, your mind starts saying things like, "This feels different than it ever has before." Or, "This time there really is something wrong."

Also, for those of us with medical anxiety, every twinge, every slight pain, every twitch or muscle jump takes on significance. We constantly scan our bodies for changes, are hyper-vigilant about our breathing and heartbeat. We have unrealistic expectations about how good we should feel, so that if we catch two colds in a row we think it's because of some scary, underlying disease.

The question is, what do you do? If you run to the doctor with every symptom, you'll be broke, because the doctor will be professionally obligated to run tests because the symptoms are similar to the ones for serious physical illnesses. And, believe me, I've done this. Or, if the thought of going to the doctor creates so much anxiety that you can't bring yourself to go, you don't get the medical care you need. I've done that, too.

The best answer I've come up with is to find medical professionals that understand anxiety disorders and are willing to work with you. This has meant being very honest with my medical doctors and their staffs, being able to tell them about my anxiety without being worried they'll think I'm a lunatic, and then very honestly describing any symptoms. I've been happily surprised that most of the medical professionals I've used have been understanding about anxiety and have answered my questions patiently. They've explained why I should or shouldn't have tests or medications, and have understood that to treat me properly they also have to take my anxiety into consideration. It's also meant finding doctors who have great phone nurses who're able to talk with me and (with the doctor's input) determine if I need to come in. In fact, some of my doctors take the time to call me personally. This eliminates a lot of unnecessary office visits and alleviates a lot of my health fears.

Does this mean I'm cool, calm, and collected at the doctor's office? NO! I'm a mass of jittery nerves. But, when they call my name and I head back, I remind both the staff and the doctor that I have anxiety about being there. And, it's almost always a part of the discussion I have with the doctor. After all, they always notice that my pulse is fast and my blood pressure's up! And, almost without fail, everyone is calm, reassuring, and understanding. No one has acted like I'm a lunatic, that they're annoyed with me, or that it's "all in my head." And, if they did, I'd change doctors...