Is Your Christmas Merry?

Are you filled with holiday cheer? Are your jingle bells jingling? Is Santa up on your rooftop? I hope your holidays are looking like a Hallmark movie or a Publix commercial. But if they're not, don't despair. Neither are anyone else's.  The time from Thanksgiving to New Year's is prime time for anxiety and depression. There's usually too much to do, relatives to see that you'd really rather not, disappointment when you can't schedule a time to see people you really want to, and budgets that are stretched thin. Or, on the opposite side of the coin, some of us don't have family, friends, parties, and shopping to take care of. This loneliness can be isolating to anyone, especially if you have anxiety and depression.

I'm not always good about preparing myself for situations that trigger anxiety. I tend to approach them with an attitude of, "Oh, this time I'll feel fine." I ignore the symptoms as they creep up instead of acknowledging them. When I feel good I toss my tools out the window and expect to continue to feel good. It's kind of like never changing your oil and expecting your car to continue to run well. But, this holiday season I decided to make a list of the things that make my holidays bright. I decided not to try to control anything about the holidays except what I can personally control. I decided to practice acceptance and gratitude. So here's my list of holiday anxiety relievers. Remember, these are what I like to do and might not be right for everyone. Create your own list, check it twice, and maybe your days will be a little more merry and bright.

1. Make time to pray, do progressive muscle relaxation, and get enough sleep.

2. Plan time to volunteer.

3. Keep a gratitude journal.

4. Listen to Christmas music. It's my favorite part of the holidays.

5. Keep my tree lights on whenever I'm home.

6. Light an evergreen scented candle.

7. Hang out with friends.

8. Practice acceptance of how the holidays unfold.

9. Understand that others' holiday expectations may not be like mine.

10. Be in the present.

11. Be kind to myself and others.

Merry Christmas and happy holidays, everyone!

How Gratitude Relieves Anxiety

It's Thanksgiving today so I thought I'd write about, well, giving thanks. Or, in other words, gratitude.  Gratitude is defined as "the quality or feeling of being grateful or thankful." That quality and feeling hasn't always been present with me. When I'm feeling anxious or depressed my mind always jumps on the well-travelled path of worry. The path of what-ifs. Of catastrophes and worst-case scenarios. I've travelled this path so often I've created "ruts in my brain." Ruts of anxiety. Of sadness. In my jittery life, I was sure if I thought about everything that could possibly happen, I could somehow be in control. I could stop the worst-case scenario. Then, my mind would think up a scenario I couldn't control. Panic! But, when I began to recognize that going down that path doesn't prevent bad things from happening, that I can't control everything, I needed to make a new path to travel. I needed to start creating new ruts in my brain. And the path I've chosen is gratitude.

I started thinking more about gratitude when I was in Clarity, the intensive therapy program I wrote about in my last post. One of the tools for recovery thinking that we learned was gratitude. Particularly, we learned about keeping a gratitude journal. Once a week we wrote down five things we were thankful for. When we started, it surprised me how little I was thinking about what I was grateful for. I was so focused on the worrying, the what-ifs, (see complete list above...) that my jittery brain had no time or energy for thankfulness. For my first journal entry I had to think really hard to come up with five things to be thankful for. I finally decided to start with the basics and I wrote down five things that, honestly, I have always taken for granted. Shelter. Food. Water. Car. Clothing. I wrote them down and was startled that the very act of writing them down warmed my heart. It also gave me a written reference so that when anxiety strikes I can pull out my journal and fill the ruts in my jumbled brain with thoughts of gratitude. And, amazingly, I saw how filling my mind with gratefulness left less room for thoughts that create feelings of anxiety and depression.

Each week it's easier to find five things I'm thankful for. Sometimes I can't limit it to five! And, now I make it a practice every day to remind myself that I need to look around and name the things that are good in my life. And, slowly, surely, the ruts in my brain are less full of worry and more full of gratitude.

Happy Thanksgiving!