Winter Blues

This has been the longest, coldest, grayest winter I can remember. I live in the South. I'm not used to this kind of weather. But, I don't mind the cold so much. In fact, I kind of like it. What I don't like are the gray days. When late fall arrives and the days shorten, my anxiety increases. And, it's always a little more trouble to manage till the longer, lighter days of spring begin to arrive. In this year's seemingly never-ending winter, I've felt my anxiety symptoms increase, and I've also been tired and irritable. I've had to be more conscientious than usual about managing my anxiety.

The first step in making it a little easier to manage is recognizing and accepting that my anxiety is worse during the winter. It's a little less frightening when I remember that this happens every winter and that it's common, even in people who don't normally have depression or anxiety.

The second step is to not get lazy about using daily techniques to reduce anxiety and depression, like grounding, progressive muscle relaxation, gratitude, prayer, and exercise.

The third step is to keep moving. No matter how appealing it is stay curled up on the sofa with a blanket when I don't have to be somewhere, it's important to do things like household chores, errand running, or just getting out and going to a coffee shop to read or write. Being around other people helps alleviate the sense of isolation that anxiety brings.

The fourth step is to keep my body comfortable. Anxiety makes us tense, can cause stomach issues, body pains, and other physical symptoms. I take warm baths, go for short walks, see the chiropractor for adjustments, and get massages.

The fifth step is to get outside when the sun happens to shine. I've noticed that being in the sun, even for a short time, lifts my mood. If you can't get outside, try sitting near a window where you can see the light. Or, it's a little weird, but if it's too cold to want to be outside for long, I'll sit in my car in the sunshine for a bit and listen to the radio!

Other small things are helpful, too. For instance, staying at a comfortable temperature reduces my anxiety. I've noticed my anxiety symptoms increase if I have to be in an uncomfortably cold environment. Conversely, some places are kept too warm in the winter and can make me feel hot and anxious. If I dress in layers where I can stay reasonably comfortable wherever I go I'm less likely to get anxious.

Eating well is also good for anxiety. In the winter, we tend to eat more and eat heavier foods. Eating warm, comforting food is great for decreasing anxiety and depression, but overeating, eating foods that are high in sodium and sugar, and not getting enough fruits and vegetables can make my anxiety worse. We just bought a NutriBullet at our house and it's helped me be sure I'm getting enough green, leafy veggies during this cold, long winter.

As I wait for spring, I look forward to more daylight, warmer temperatures, and seeing the daffodils show their pretty faces. In the meantime, you'll find me staying warm, looking out the window in search of sunshine, and remembering I'm not the only one whose anxiety is worse in the winter.

My Tried and True Tool for Panic Attacks

There's one tool I always turn to when I'm anxious. It helps prevent panic attacks and shortens an attack if I'm having one. If I do it every day, or even a few days a week, it lowers my generalized anxiety. It's my go-to, tried and true, helps-every-time technique called Progressive Muscle Relaxation.

I heard about it years ago when my therapist recommended "The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook" by Edmund Bourne, which became my favorite book on anxiety. Although my therapist recommended reading the whole book, he specifically wanted me to learn how to use this technique. And, I've been using it ever since. Without fail, Progressive Muscle Relaxation provides me with some relief from both generalized anxiety and from panic attacks. It works best if I practice it a minimum of three times a week, more if my anxiety is acute. And, if a panic attack is starting, I've found that it reduces the symptoms and shortens the attack. In other words, I can keep it from turning into a full-blown panic attack, which I ALWAYS want to avoid.

Progressive Muscle Relaxation isn't new. It was developed in the 1930's by a physician, Dr. Edmund Jacobson, and originally had over 200 exercises to reduce stress. Thankfully, it doesn't take all 200 exercises to reduce anxiety; about 15-20 are commonly used. And, don't freak out over the word exercise. No work-out is involved. If you read my blog often, you know I'm not using something that involves a work-out...

So, how do you go about doing this amazing technique? It's pretty simple. It involves systematically tensing and releasing your muscles while breathing. You can do it lying down or sitting in a chair. If you're doing the whole series of movements it takes about 20 minutes, and a dim, quiet place is ideal. However, I've found doing even a few movements under the table at a business meeting or sitting on a plane can be helpful. I first learned to do it following the written instructions in the book, but now I use a guide that I downloaded. Actually, once you have it memorized you don't really need a guide. I just like the voice and the music.

To learn the technique you can click on this script I found online that was adapted from Edmund Bourne's book. Or, you can download a guide. The one I like is by Ken Goodman and I found it on the iTunes store. You can also get it from his website.

Let me know what happens when you try it. I hope it helps you as much as it's helped me!

Is Your Christmas Merry?

Are you filled with holiday cheer? Are your jingle bells jingling? Is Santa up on your rooftop? I hope your holidays are looking like a Hallmark movie or a Publix commercial. But if they're not, don't despair. Neither are anyone else's.  The time from Thanksgiving to New Year's is prime time for anxiety and depression. There's usually too much to do, relatives to see that you'd really rather not, disappointment when you can't schedule a time to see people you really want to, and budgets that are stretched thin. Or, on the opposite side of the coin, some of us don't have family, friends, parties, and shopping to take care of. This loneliness can be isolating to anyone, especially if you have anxiety and depression.

I'm not always good about preparing myself for situations that trigger anxiety. I tend to approach them with an attitude of, "Oh, this time I'll feel fine." I ignore the symptoms as they creep up instead of acknowledging them. When I feel good I toss my tools out the window and expect to continue to feel good. It's kind of like never changing your oil and expecting your car to continue to run well. But, this holiday season I decided to make a list of the things that make my holidays bright. I decided not to try to control anything about the holidays except what I can personally control. I decided to practice acceptance and gratitude. So here's my list of holiday anxiety relievers. Remember, these are what I like to do and might not be right for everyone. Create your own list, check it twice, and maybe your days will be a little more merry and bright.

1. Make time to pray, do progressive muscle relaxation, and get enough sleep.

2. Plan time to volunteer.

3. Keep a gratitude journal.

4. Listen to Christmas music. It's my favorite part of the holidays.

5. Keep my tree lights on whenever I'm home.

6. Light an evergreen scented candle.

7. Hang out with friends.

8. Practice acceptance of how the holidays unfold.

9. Understand that others' holiday expectations may not be like mine.

10. Be in the present.

11. Be kind to myself and others.

Merry Christmas and happy holidays, everyone!

Forgetting to Take Care of Myself

Anxiety builds up and I don't notice it. I don't pay attention to the subtle signs. I forget that taking care of myself when I'm not anxious will reduce episodes of acute anxiety. I start thinking that I'm done with anxiety, and phobias, and hypochondria. I'm invincible. I can handle stress. Just pile it on. I'll sail right through it.

Then I start noticing that my heart's beating fast. Or, I get that funny feeling in the pit of my stomach. But, it's just for a few seconds and I think, "Oh, it will be fine. You can handle this. You've been doing great." And, I go about life as usual, never slowing down, not stopping to take care of myself. Because when I'm feeling "normal" I lull myself into believing that I won't be anxious anymore. It's easy to do, because when I'm not anxious I forget that recovery is a path. I forget that recovery requires care and that I'm responsible for taking care of myself. I forget that I have to be intentional. Then, when I least expect it, I have a panic attack. I start thinking negative thoughts. The dark cloud of worry takes its place over my head. I'm obsessively thinking about every breath, every heartbeat, to see if it seems normal.

You'd think after all these years of managing my illness, I'd remember to take care of myself. I think it goes back to wishing that I didn't have this and hoping it will just GO AWAY. But, even if I didn't have to manage my anxiety, I need to take care of my self. Many of us, even those without anxiety or depression, just don't do enough to treat ourselves well.

Here are some things that give me peace, energy, and a sense of life being good.
Progressive Muscle Relaxation. If you've never done it you don't know what you're missing. For a guided version that's a little bit shorter, but super effective, check out Ken Goodman's "Stress Free" in the iTunes store.

100 Breaths Meditation. Easy as pie and if you do it in the morning, your work day will go smoother. All that's involved is sitting quietly and breathing 100 deep breaths. Be sure to breath into your abdomen and exhale longer than you inhale. I like sitting crossed legged with my hands palm up to receive the gift of relaxation, but you can sit anywhere in any comfortable position. Add some relaxing music and it's even better.

Stop and enjoy life. I try to take a minute (or more) every day to intentionally enjoy something. It can be as simple and quick as watching a bird or a butterfly and think about how pretty it is or taking time to have lunch with a friend and really paying attention to the food and conversation.

Gardening. I love to pull a few weeds, or plant some seeds, or water the plants.

Writing. Recording my thoughts and feelings is cathartic.

Telling someone I trust how I'm feeling. Whether I'm happy, peaceful, frustrated, scared, or sad, saying it out loud helps, especially if I can tell someone else. I try to remember to talk to my husband or a close friend about how I'm feeling. This one is hard for me. I don't come from a family where acknowledging your feelings was acceptable and my husband doesn't talk about his feelings often. But, he knows how good it is for me to be able to say my feelings out loud and he's always ready to listen. And, I have friends I can talk to. If no one is available to listen, I just say it out loud to myself.

Music. I have a library of music for stress reduction. A couple of favorites are Mozart for Meditation and David Benoit's Letter to Evan.

Exercise. In my dreams I'm a runner and wake up every day wanting to go for a run. But, in reality, I hate exercise. So, I try to get a 30 minute walk in every day. Or, I substitute gardening, or taking the stairs instead of the elevator. Or, walking to the store. Or, even, cleaning my house. It's a proven fact that regular exercise reduces anxiety.

Go outside. This is probably my favorite stress reliever. I love to be outside. Sit on the porch, or the steps, or under a shady tree in the yard, or on a bench in the park. Sit on a bus bench if that's all that's available. Even if it's cold or rainy, just go outside for a few minutes. There's something about being outside that helps with anxiety.

Sometimes, in spite of everything, I still feel anxious. But, consciously taking care of myself, making self-care a priority, reminding myself that I am worthwhile and deserve to take care of myself, are tools that make my jittery life a little less jittery.